Food is a family affair. And experts agree that how you and your family think and talk about food and bodies can have a big impact on your health now — and in the future.
Unfortunately, some of the most well-meaning practices – like restricting food or focusing on body weight — can end up being harmful. They can actually promote the behaviors and poor self-image they aim to prevent!
What to do? Support each other in healthier attitudes. Do your best to adopt habits 7 and 8 with the ideas presented here.
Watch Your Talk
Because it matters...| You say: | Don't you think you'd feel better if you lost a little weight? You'd look great! |
| They think: | I was feeling okay, but I guess she doesn't think I'm okay the way I am. |
| Advice: | Focus on a person's positive qualities, talents, and accomplishments. Don't suggest that self-esteem is, or should be, based only on how you look. |
| You say: | Hey, wow! Have you lost weight? You look really, really fantastic! |
| They think: | Did I look bad before? I've reached my weight goal — but maybe I need to lose a lot more. |
| Advice: | Don't over-praise a weight lossit can promote an unhealthy fear of fat. A simple, understated compliment is fine: "You look nice." |
| You say: | Do you really want to order that? It's pretty high in fat. Did you notice the low-calorie section of the menu? |
| They think: | He's watching everything I put in my mouth! I guess I have to start obsessing too! Or maybe I'll just sneak. |
| Advice: | Don't hint about or monitor other people's food choices. Your "helpful suggestions" are likely to backfire. Forbidden foods can easily become guilty secrets. |
| You say: | Oh. My. Gosh. Look at my thighs in these pants! I'm disgusting! |
| They think: | If she thinks she's disgusting, then she must think I'm pretty gross too. |
| Advice: | Don't suggest that it's normal or desirable to hate your body. Being dissatisfied with your body won't help you be healthy at all! |
| You say: | Nice tent — I mean, nice dress! |
| They think: | How humiliating. |
| Advice: | Don't tease people about their shape or clothes. It's never helpful, always hurtful. And also: not funny. |
Ideas to make it happen
- Forget "forbidden foods." Being overly restrictive about certain "bad" foods can really backfire. The pressure to be perfect can lead to all kinds of unhealthy behavior. So be moderate. Plan for treats from time to time. If you make good food choices and have reasonable portions most of the time — you're doing great.
- Don't use food as a reward, bribe, or punishment. This can lead to "comfort eating" — overeating when you're stressed — and other unhealthy behaviors. Instead, reward or motivate yourself (or your kids) with an activity: a trip to the park, a hike with a friend, a matinee.
- Stay away from fad diets. Beware of eating plans that promise to help you drop weight, build muscle, or lose (or gain) inches in a "quick and easy" way. Such diets rarely work in the long-term — and they can be unsafe. Instead, build life-long healthy habits for eating and activity.
- Learn about nutrition. Take a class or read a book on nutrition. Find out how different foods nourish your body. Be food-friendly, not food-phobic!
- Grow it yourself. Start a garden in your yard — or in containers on your porch or windowsill. Growing your own vegetables is a fun way to get some exercise, bone up on biology, and share time with your family. It's also a great reminder that food is healthy and nurturing, not harmful.
We needed to support each other.
A mother/daughter success story..."We both wanted to be healthier. We talked about it all the time. It didn't occur to me that how I talked about it could actually be making things more difficult for her. Or that some things I was doing — like hiding treats — were just making her feel weird and anxious.
What was helpful? We made a list for ourselves — things that would work for us. Mostly, it was stuff we could do together, like buy healthier snacks or go walking after dinner. But there were also things we agreed not to do. For example, we stopped weighing ourselves every day. We've tried to stop complaining about how we look.
It's not easy to change. But when you think about your whole life, the habits and attitudes you want to have in the long term, it's easier. You're thinking about your health and your happiness — not just your dress size – and that feels good."