[8] Don't criticize about weight

Advice: Don't over-praise a weight loss — it can promote an unhealthy fear of fat. A simple, understated compliment is fine: "You look nice."

Watch Your Talk

Because it matters...

How you talk about bodies and food can have a big — and often unintended — effect.

You say:	Don't you think you'd feel better if you lost a little weight? You'd look great!
They think:	I was feeling okay, but I guess she doesn't think I'm okay the way I am.
Advice:	Focus on a person's positive qualities, talents, and accomplishments. Don't suggest that self-esteem is, or should be, based only on how you look.
You say:	Hey, wow! Have you lost weight? You look really, really fantastic!
They think:	Did I look bad before? I've reached my weight goal — but maybe I need to lose a lot more.
Advice:	Don't over-praise a weight loss — it can promote an unhealthy fear of fat. A simple, understated compliment is fine: "You look nice."
You say:	Do you really want to order that? It's pretty high in fat. Did you notice the low-calorie section of the menu?
They think:	He's watching everything I put in my mouth! I guess I have to start obsessing too! Or maybe I'll just sneak.
Advice:	Don't hint about or monitor other people's food choices. Your "helpful suggestions" are likely to backfire. Forbidden foods can easily become guilty secrets.
You say:	Oh. My. Gosh. Look at my thighs in these pants! I'm disgusting!
They think:	If she thinks she's disgusting, then she must think I'm pretty gross too.
Advice:	Don't suggest that it's normal or desirable to hate your body. Being dissatisfied with your body won't help you be healthy at all!
You say:	Nice tent — I mean, nice dress!
They think:	How humiliating.
Advice:	Don't tease people about their shape or clothes. It's never helpful, always hurtful. And also: not funny.

Some studies suggest a link between excess weight in childhood and parental concern about the child's weight status. Unhealthy behavior is also linked to parental weight concern.

As one study author commented: "While there's definitely reason for parental concern about a child's weight, putting too much value on thinness can promote unhealthy behaviors."

Ideas to make it happen

• Watch what you say about yourself. Don't criticize your own body — even as a joke. Don't compare your own weight, size, or shape to someone else's. Being healthy means being positive about yourself.
• Watch what you say about others. Don't make negative remarks about other people's bodies, either. Show appreciation for each person's unique personality, coloring, and body shape and size. Ask others in your family to do the same.
• Be realistic. It's normal and healthy for your body to change over time. So let your doctor help you determine if your weight is right for you and what your goals should be. For example, even if you're too heavy right now, a realistic goal might be weight maintenance, not weight loss. It's normal for kids to gain some weight just before puberty or a growth spurt — you may be able to grow into your weight.
• Focus on health. Focus on lifelong, healthy habits — not numbers on the scale. Don't ask what others weigh, and don't over-praise a drop in a friend's or family member's clothing size. Try to be the healthiest you can be, for your own sake and as a positive example to others.